MARIA STEN

ACTRESS · WRITER · PRODUCER.

Filtering by Tag: escapism

IN THE DARK - PART VIII

FIRE.

But what is there really left to love in the heart of a total conflagration.
When I look in the blaze and everything melts and my hand finds no grasp to save you from the fire.
I know, it was all in vain.
And I also know, from the ashes, it comes back again.
Which way do you stand when the wind turns?
I'll wait for you where everything burns.

IN THE DARK - PART VII

PEARL.

Down. Down. 
Way down we  go.
Deep in the dark waters, diving to what we don't know.
There is no light but the light from within,
There is no up or down, no fleeting sound but the sound of my heart,
Searching for a place to give in.
And there, in the black masses, a light flickers back.
A pure, white gleam, the safety I lack.
I push further down, push to find it before I drown,
Before the current takes my last breath
And fills me with troubles of the past,
Before the masses get me, I grasp.
My hand safely finds the soft edges of your shell.
My lips pry it open, whispering secrets I could never tell.
The white light blinds me, its rare breed saves me from the black.
I hold it, keep it, care for it, saving it right back.
Off to the surface, back to be a different kind of girl,
With a heart that holds together for the treasure of a rare and magic pearl.

IN THE DARK - PART III

UNBLOSSOMED. 

A whistle through the air, just before they land, 
He whispers in my ear; 
No matter what happens I will have you near-- 
And Me never leaving his lips
Cause the fire burned through us both
Like a splintering, shattering stopper of love, 
Of all good things we planted, 
Of our seed still unblossomed
From my belly of another tragic end. 
Only this one, he was true, 
This one was goodness in the flesh, 
A conceiver of dreams, this was my true friend. 
Laid lifeless by the wayside, next to his forsaken bride, 
A side effect of one more sanctioned genocide. 


CHILDHOOD. 

There's no greater treasure than childhood memories. 
Do you remember your mother
Using her own spit to moisten the flour, 
Starving herself, 
So you could have just something to devour? 
Can you see all your childhood friends
With their right hands chopped off at the wrist, 
Just as a warning not to resist? 
Can you hear the bombs falling every night
As your children lay crying, shivering with fright? 
No? 

Didn't think so. 


BRIGHT NEW STAR.

On a lone rock, high atop the mountain,
Bathed in flickering gold,
Your whispers in my ear
Ease the wary of my soul.
Alone, the light fades
Yet I am safe and sound
As sounds of the dark emerge all around.
I wonder why, sigh and look to the sky.
The moonless night is dark with despair,
Teaching stars to shine brighter alone.
And in this night, you give me light
As I roam the wild like I belong.
Belong to the dark,
Like a caged cat unleashed, unfolding
The rusty creases of my heart.
Let the shadows in, let the foot find its fast,
Let this bright new star light the way back,
Let you guide me home through the dark.


IN THE DARK - PART II

MOLDING.

There are souls on fire
And hearts that demise in their flames.
My soul is a soul on fire.
But rebuilt in steel,
My heart was molded by fire and flame,
imply to fit its name.


FOOL FOR LOVE

I call out in the dark but no one can hear me. 
Maybe cause my desperate scream is silent
With the shame I feel for wanting you near me. 
I picked the berry off the fruit pie we ate, 
But it's moldy in my mouth now, 
All this time gone by. 
I still keep your rusty spurs
From the first time you fell off, 
Back when we were young, wondrous and wry. 
I still keep your card in a box
Of taunting memories under the bed. 
Holding on to something you once said. 
Am I a fool for wanting something
I know is bad for me? 
I know you can never heal me
When you are not whole yourself. 
But even so.. there's nobody else. 
My comfort, 
My other half who knows me too well. 
My curse. My story I can't bear to tell. 
Why can't you be good for me? 
Want me for me, not for who you want me to be. 
I cannot be your chew toy, 
Nor your well behaved arm decoration. 
Or just a stop on the way
To your indefinite destination. 
Love me. 
Love me like you know you'll never let me go. 
So that my silent screams won't disappear
In the dark no more. 
So that I also know. 
Let me run wild around you, 
So you can try to tame me. 
But don't lock me up and throw away the key
When you know I need to be free. 
I need to be free for you to love me, 
Free from your power upon me, to be
Cause the memories of your deeds
Imprison my mind in constant misery. 
I end up losing my mind, 
With no rhyme or reason, 
Running wild like the buck
You like to chase and shove. 
I end up a simple fool for love.


CONFLAGRATION. 

You are my fire. 
Like the first light after a moonless night, 
Born of some terrible storm. 
Like the crackling in the dark
Erupting with sparks, 
But lends you peace and keeps you warm. 
A fire I never knew before I felt it. 
So I stood in the flame and let it have me, 
Frozen, with addiction to the smoldering heat, 
In fear of losing what I should have left be. 
And I let it consume me. 
A conflagration with no consideration for easy. 
So strike the match, set off what's left; 
My last bit of innocence along with the rest, 
And watch your love burn to a beautiful death.


IN THE DARK - PART I

OCEAN.

She roars like the waterfall, 
She moves like the wild rivers flow. 
Her calm is like the forest lake, 
She rages like a tidal wave, 
Yet like the ocean, deep and undefeated, 
She holds secrets you’ll never know.


DROPS.

Is that the rain I hear
Knocking on my window?
Or is it the salt I taste
From the path it carves on my cheek,
Kissing the curve of my lip
Like tender drops of solitude.
The sound lets me dream up a fantasy
Where I am a better version of me.
But as my cheeks dry, I try,
For now, just to aspire to be.


WILD. 

Ran away from the world
And the aches it put my heart through. 
Get lost in the wild where wild things run free. 
I revel in the wide open space, 
In a vacuum of extremities I know my place
As it replicates my inner complexities. 
Hot and cold, beautiful and dangerous, 
A heart of rock cast from once liquid gold
In a soul a thousand years old. 
Trapped on earth, sequestered, bewildered, 
In search of freedom, finding only fear. 

So take me, lonely road, let the vacuum consume me, 
Burn me, starve me, crumble and mold me, 
Pure and viciously, in to; 
My stories still untold, 
To the courage for my destiny yet to unfold, 
Shatter the rock
And melt a path back to my heart of gold.


KISS. 

Are you man enough to unleash the beast
That you know will put up a fight? 
Are you man enough to march through the darkness
And knock down the door
To the place that stole all the light? 
Are you man enough to be a man
When a man means doing what's right? 
You can bruise me a 1000 times
And leave tokens of your sin on my skin, 
But a 1000 blows don't add up
To my one cataclysm within. 
Do I go down with this ship, 
Proud to stand my ground, 
To be strong, to resist? 
Or do I let you undo
What's been done
As you do me another one
With your generous lips, 
Your mouth mouthing gifts after gifts? 
Well. I guess I'll find out in this next kiss. 


SECRETS. 

He whispers to me as we lay in the dark. 
Unwillingly, reluctantly, 
I let him unravel the denied secrets of my heart.